You must avoid these 6 mistakes on Valentine's Day. They include 1) assuming a romantic Valentine’s Day is all about sex and 2) forgetting the principle that even meatloaf seems special in candlelight. Discover how to squeeze more romance out of your Valentine's Day date.

1. Assuming a romantic Valentine’s Day is all about sex.
Wrong. It’s not all about sex. It’s all about romance.

Years ago, advice columnist Ann Landers asked her female readers, "Would you rather cuddle or have sex?" Of the 90,000 women who responded, 72% preferred cuddling. Mind you, this is not a scientific survey, but it's an eye-opening one. If you're making all your plans just so you can get your sweetie in the sack, then slow down, pardner.

Instead, make your romantic Valentine's Day date about pleasuring your honey. Consider the 5 senses: sight, sound, smell, touch and taste. How can you appeal to each one? Maybe you'll get sacky--er, lucky--but for sure she'll be pleased, and you'll have fun, too.

2. Forgetting the principle that even meatloaf seems special in candlelight.
Presentation matters. That means, how you give the gift counts as much as the gift itself. So get creative. Present your Valentine's gift idea in a special or unusual way. Did you buy concert tickets? Good choice. Now make earrings out of them. Or gift wrap them in a box, instead of sticking them inside a card. If you're the King of Sloppy Wrapping, have your friend wrap it. Or check the basket store for ideas. Every year I gave my stepdad a necktie for Christmas. The year I had the necktie canned, he was stumped and delighted.

3. Being stingy just because you're on a budget.
Think about what she likes. Is there a movie about that topic? Affordable accessories? Start with an idea or theme and ask yourself, how does she use this? What could go with it?  For example, does she love romantic novels or historical fiction? Go to the secondhand bookstore or Goodwill or the Salvation Army and buy her a box of books. Make a bookmark with a mushy note on the back. Wrap each book separately to prolong her delight in discovering each title. Get her a book light and a Snuggie blanket.

Your most thoughtful Valentine's gift might be free. Has she been wanting you to clean out the garage? Then do it! And remembering that presentation is important, put a big red bow on the garage door. Would she like a weekend all to herself? Then give her a coupon promising to take the kids camping. Or camp at your brother's house while she has a slumber party for her girlfriends.

4. Drinking too much.
Today is not the day to go blotto on booze. Pace yourself. Eat enough food to soak up the alcohol. Above all, if you want to stay out of the dog house, don't pee on the carpet.

5. Making the same old small talk.
It's a special day. So get to know her better. No matter how long you've known each other, you'll discover new stories. You will find hundreds of conversation questions in my e-book Do You Squeeze the Toothpaste in the Middle? Playful Questions for Dates & Mates. Here are some good conversation questions:

• How did you survive high school?
• What were your friends like?
• What clubs or teams did you belong to?
• How did you get spending money?
• How have you changed since then?

6. Putting enormous attention into the special date day, and then going back to life as usual.
It's like getting dumped off a featherbed and crash landing on the floor. Keep the romance fires burning for a few more days, at least.

And now I'd like to invite you to discover how good conversation questions can grease the path to deeper friendship. Get  *free* copy of "15 Fun, Free, and Original Ice Breakers & Conversation Questions for Parties, Dates, and Hanging Out With Friends." Go to http://www.queenofconversation.com/15-Sure-Fire-Conversation-Starters.html

©Tracey E. Bennett, The Queen of Conversation

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