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Newsletter, July 22, 2009
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In This Issue
...
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1. Quotation of the Week
2. Conversation Tip for Memorial Day
3. Word of the Week
4. Humor
5. Check Out My Blog
6. More Goodies: Website Reminder
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1. Quotation of the Week
"If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be
patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his
ear."
- A. A. Milne, author of Winnie the Pooh
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2. Conversation Tip of the Week
Striking up a conversation with a
stranger is good for your
brain!
Why? Because it pushes you out of your
comfort zone and
activates your brain cells. Any activity that stretches
you,
so to speak, improves and maintains your memory. Yes,
you
could do it by writing with your non-dominant hand, or taking
a
different route home. But let's focus on conversations.
They
don't take extra time because you're around strangers all
the
time: in check-out lines, in elevators, at
Starbucks....
How to start a conversation with a
stranger, Part I
(3 more parts in future newsletters.) If you find the idea
of
talking to a stranger too
uncomfortable, start small. Aim for a
brief chat. When you manage to exchange
even a few words,
pat yourself on the back. Then do it again.
1. Compliment someone. Then ask a follow-up question.
If you can't think of a follow-up, that's okay. For example,
* "Great shoes! Where did you get
them?"
* "Great running shoes. There are so many styles and
brands.
How do you decide which ones to buy?"
* "That's a flattering color on you. Did you have your colors
done?"
* "That's a flattering style on you. Did you learn to dress so
well
by taking a class, or is it one of your talents?" (A terrific
follow-up
to that is "What else are you good at?")
* "Love your ring/watch/earrings. Were they a gift?"
* "Love your briefcase/haircut/necklace...."
* "That's an unusual tie/t-shirt you're wearing. Does it have
a
story?" [This is one of my favorite follow-up
questions.]
+++++
Secretary of State Madeleine Albright is famous for
wearing
elaborate pins. Ambassadors and heads of state often broke
the
ice by asking her about her latest adornment. What ice
breakers
could you wear?
+++++
Five more conversation
tips:
1. Don't be an
interviewer. Contribute to the conversation.
2. Share something
personal.
For example, following a
compliment about earrings or watch,
etc., you could say, "My mom gave me this watch for
Christmas.
It loses 5 minutes a day, and every time I set it, I think of
her."
3. Don't take the reply personally,
especially if there isn't one.
4. Keep practicing. Eventually it gets to be fun to connect
for
a moment.
5. If chatting with a stranger seems too big a task,
rehearse
mentally to build your
confidence.
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Two more brain tips from an expert in Chinese medicine
* Eat 1 or 2 walnuts
every day. Walnuts are brain food. Have you
noticed they even look like your brain?
* Massage the outside edge of your ears, which are filled with
brain-enhancing acupressure points. (The shower is a good place
to do it since you're washing your ears
anyway.)
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3. Word of the Week: literally
Watching Tour de France racers careening
down the mountain,
a TV commentator said, "The riders literally fly off the mountain."
Is it true? Are the riders free of
gravity? Do their wheels leave the
pavement for minutes at a time?
When someone blabs a secret he's supposed
to keep, does he
literally let the cat out of the bag? Does he literally spill the
beans?
I don't think so.
What the TV commentator meant was
"figuratively." Remember your
English teach talking about figures of speech? (I do. Vaguely.)
Many people misuse the word "literally,"
which means it really, truly,
actually, in fact, happens. For example, when you chat with a stranger,
your neurons literally create new connections with each
other.
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4. Humor
True story: Tenants of
a New York skyscraper complained about its
slow elevators. Getting a speedier elevator was out of the budget, so
the landlords hired an elevator consultant and took his advice. Soon
everyone was happy.
What did he recommend?
The answer is
below.
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5. Check Out My Blog on (surprise!) Elevator
Speeches
Elevator Speech: Answering the Question "What Do You Do?"
America's #1
conversation question is "What Do You Do?"
If you're answer in the usual way --"I'm a manager/salesperson/
realtor/what-have-you--you're missing the conversation boat.
There's a terrific
video starring Sam Horn. Be sure to read the
comments, too.
Go to My Conversation Blog.
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The answer to the elevator dilemma: Installing mirrors.
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6. Website Reminder: More Goodies
Get newsletter archives and articles and
tips for good conversation
at www.QueenOfConversation.com . (It's where you signed
up for
this newsletter.) You'll land on the page that offers the 15 free
questions. Go to the bottom of that page and click on "site map."
Zoom! You'll go inside where the goodies are.
© 2009 Tracey E.
Bennett All rights
reserved.
As always, I
welcome your comments, questions and anecdotes.