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How to Start Conversation: Use the News to Get to
Know Someone |
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I love newspapers. Mostly they're filled with fluff--at least
mine are. Do I really need the front page to tell me that our
streets are pocked with potholes or that Aloha Stadium is a
rust bucket? Nah.
But news media are endless sources of questions for
conversation. An example is Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps's
bong episode. FYI: if you've been out of the country, Michael
was photographed at a party sucking a marijuana bong. He was
caught smokey-handed by an acquaintance who sold the photo to
the media. It was just a cell-phone picture, but oh, the
repercussions! The story circled the world faster than Michael
could race across the pool.
You can tell a lot about people by the way they respond to news
stories. Use Michael's dilemma as a springboard to help you get
to know someone better. Below are several questions you can use
to start conversation and keep it going.
How to Start the Conversation with
Questions Instead of diving headfirst into the
questions, introduce the topic. This set-up allows you to talk
about current events and those that aren't current anymore. If
you're been thinking about a topic, it's fair game. For
example, you could say, "I've been thinking about Michael
Phelps getting caught smoking pot. Remember that?" If the
answer is no, you'll need to elaborate on what happened. If the
answer is yes, you're ready to start conversation with any of
these questions:
-
Did you lose respect for Michael Phelps over this issue?
Why?
- With so many evil doers flaming
and blaming others, refusing to take responsibility for
their actions, is it refreshing that Michael owned up to
smoking pot? Do you cut him some slack because of
that?
- What's your opinion of the person
who took the picture and made a lot of money on
it?
- What makes pot smoking a big deal:
its effects on the body and mind, its legalities, or
something else?
- If you were in Michael's flippers,
er, shoes, what would you learn from this mess?
- If you were the CEO of Kelloggs or
Subway, would you cancel your million-dollar endorsements
with this swimming champ? Why?
- Phelps is a hero to many
youngsters. Who were your heroes when you were growing up?
Did any of them do anything to fall from grace in your
eyes?
- Who are your heroes now? Tell me
about them.
Remember this is a conversation, not
an interview, so share your own ideas and experiences as you go
along.
How to Make Your
Conversation More Personal Here's one more line of
Michael questions that borders on snoopy. If you introduce it
carefully, you could take the conversation to a deeper, more
intimate, level. Here are the questions:
- Did you ever get caught smoking
pot or doing something reckless or foolish?
- What were the
consequences?
- Did you do it again, or did you
learn your lesson?
You're more likely to get your
conversation partner to open up if you share your own
experience first. Here's what that series of questions might
sound like when you begin with "I statements": "I smoked pot in
college and never got busted. But when I told my dad about it,
he was curious about my experience. He might even have tried
smoking if I'd had any. But when he told my mom, she was
furious. I think she felt left out because she didn't hear it
from me. She was so judgmental, I never felt safe talking with
her about it again. [pause] What about you? Did you ever smoke
pot or get caught doing something reckless or
foolish?"
I don't have the answers (only opinions.) There are no right
answers, just conversation to help you get to know someone. Go
on now. Have fun with the questions. Read the paper today, and
formulate some conversation starters of your own.
And now I'd like to invite you to discover
how good conversation questions can grease the path
to good friendship. Get your copy of
"15 Fun, Free, and Original Ice Breakers & Conversation
Questions for Parties, Dates, and Hanging Out With Friends." Go
to http://www.queenofconversation.com/15-Sure-Fire-Conversation-Starters.html
©Tracey E. Bennett, The Queen of
Conversation
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