When can you say, “Haven’t we met before?” without sounding like a cliché? There is a way to turn this ancient ice breaker into a good conversation starter without sounding common as dirt, dry as dust, and strictly for the birds. Or worse, like a failed pick-up artist. Discover how to turn an old line into a good impression.

How can you start a conversation with a cliché?

My English teacher liked to say, “Avoid clichés like the plague.” And that’s good advice. (Now that I’ve had my fun with clichés, I’ll spare you any more.) Advice for budding writers goes double for anyone who is meeting or re-meeting someone, especially when you’re single.

You have a dilemma. You want to make a good first impression. You want to sound fresh, original and interesting so she will want to continue talking to you. But the question in your mind--“Haven’t we met before?” or "Haven't I seen you somewhere?" sounds stale, boring, and out of touch. 

When you know the right strategy, either one could be a good conversation starter. Otherwise, they sound like clichés at best and feeble pick-up lines at worst.

Speaking of pick-up lines, excuse me while I think out loud: I'm assuming that you really did see this person somewhere. But could you use this cliché as an opening gambit, an effective way to start a conversation with anyone? Yes.

All right. Back to our program...

Your next step: Create a menu of conversation topics

“Haven’t we met before?” This cliché can be like a waiter getting someone's attention so he can tempt them with the chef's specialties. Instead of food, today's feature is a buffet of conversation topics. How do you display them?

Simply expand on the question, like so: “Haven’t we met before? You look familiar. Did I see you at ...?"

Listen up. What follows "Did I see you at ..." is crucial. Name a bunch of places or events you've been in the last year. Choose ones that showcase who you are and what you like to do. Be authentic. If you're looking for someone who likes the same things you do, it's pointless to try to impress someone. So don't mention opera if it bores you.

Here's what the conversation starter might sound like with the dots filled in: “You look familiar. Did I see you at the Unitarian Church or the Batman movie or the sculpture exhibit or the bluegrass festival?” (Pause for a response.) “No? How about the Humane Society fundraiser?”

Now you sound like a real person, someone with a life, someone worth talking to. If your new acquaintance hasn't been to any of the same places, that's not your fault. At least you've left a breadcrumb trail of meaningful conversation topics to follow up on.

And now I'd like to invite you to discover how good conversation questions can grease the path to deeper friendship. Get a *free* copy of "15 Fun, Free, and Original Ice Breakers & Conversation Questions for Parties, Dates, and Hanging Out With Friends." Go to http://www.queenofconversation.com/15-Sure-Fire-Conversation-Starters.html

©Tracey E. Bennett, The Queen of Conversation

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