The conversation starter "What’s your sign?" had its heyday in the 60's when the musical Hair turned everyone's attention to the Age of Aquarius. Nowadays, it's a trite ice breaker that leads to small talk. With one exception though: If you're slightly knowledgeable about astrology, these 3 words could prove to be a good conversation starter for you.

Frame your conversation question so you capture someone's interest
You don't want to bluntly say, " What’s-your-sign?" because the line would flutter in the breeze all by itself. It would brand you as hopelessly out of date. That's not the way to get and keep someone's attention.

The solution is to answer objections before they come up. You need to ease into the question so it seems fresh and intriguing. Put a frame around your words, a context that will help you get to "Yes, I want to hear more." For example, You could say, "I'm going to ask you a question that might sound trite, but it's a subject I've studied, and if you're willing to go along with me, I can tell you some things about yourself that will interest you. Are you willing to play along for a couple minutes?"

Wait for the yes or the nod. Then ask, "What’s your sign?" Be prepared for a smart-ass reply, and be good natured if she says, "No through road" or "Detour ahead." Then you can say, "At least you're not herpes rising." She'll laugh, and the conversation door opens magically.

You don't have to know astrology through and through
You just have to know enough to get started, to break the ice, to show that you're an interesting, fun person. Here's an example of what you might say to a Scorpio:

"Scorpios are known for being passionate, of course, but not just in the bedroom. When you believe in something, you work for it; you apply yourself, heart and soul. If you love a movie or a new restaurant, you'll tell your friends and encourage them to go, too. The barb of the scorpion's tail is sharp, and you work to soften it and be tactful. The positive view of your critical side is that you can take something and see its faults and make it better. Scorps are reserved, even secretive, so if I had a secret, I'd feel safe telling you."

Watch for subtle nods or frowns that indicate if you're on the right track. It helps to be a good BS-er. If your "reading" seems to be going well, keep talking. But don't go on too long. I can't say how long "too long" is. Be sensitive and you'll be aware of it. Try to quit while your audience wants more. At some point you can laugh and say something like, "That's the end of chapter 2 of the astrology book I'm reading. I can tell you more next time when I've studied another chapter." In other words, be light hearted.

Make the transition from ice-breaker conversation to genuine conversation
At some point you gotta get offstage, even if you are an expert on astrology. Come around to one of the topics you mentioned earlier--for example, about being passionate. You want to signal the end of your performance, so to speak, and the beginning of authentic conversation questions. You could follow up with these ice breakers:

• So what are you passionate about these days?
• What projects or hobbies are lighting your lights?
• Have you read any terrific books lately?

And now I'd like to invite you to discover how good conversation questions can grease the path to deeper friendship. Get  *free* copy of "15 Fun, Free, and Original Ice Breakers & Conversation Questions for Parties, Dates, and Hanging Out With Friends." Go to http://www.queenofconversation.com/15-Sure-Fire-Conversation-Starters.html

©Tracey E. Bennett, The Queen of Conversation

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